It is that time again. And I can say that I am glad to say goodbye to 2023, but not without acknowledging the God of the heavens that has mercy on whom He wills. And He has shown me great mercy.

For the Scripture says to the Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.” Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens.

Romans 9:17-18

On September 6, I shared the news of a cancer diagnoses I received from an oral surgeon (https://wordpress.com/post/livinginthelasthour.com/6811). The diagnoses, Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma of the hard left palate. After visiting with an ENT in October, I learned surgery was required to remove the cancer. To boot, recovery was going to be extremely painful. If the cancer itself was not sufficient to deal with, adding to it was the difficulty in finding treatment without health insurance (https://livinginthelasthour.com/2023/09/11/the-day-came-when-money-and-status-meant-nothing/).

From what I was told and read, this cancer is rare, and I had it. But, rare was not new to me. I had an endoscopy done a few years ago and the GI doctor informed me that I had sweat glands in my esophagus. As he said, it is such a rare occurrence that he asked for permission to use my results in his research. Also rare, to date never having worn prescription glasses (20/15 vision) I’ve had to deal with floaters in both eyes and dry eye syndrome from a very young age. Rare did not phase me until it did.

Well, I have come to appreciate the function of the hard palate. Anyway, as I said I don’t have any health insurance, so the cost of paying for removing the cancer had to come out of pocket. Sadly, we discovered many ugly truths about the healthcare industry. But that’s a story for another day. Anyway, it did cost a pretty penny, but after the removal, and an extremely painful recovery, I was still facing radiation therapy. That meant additional costs…way higher costs. How we were going to pay for the treatment, well that was going to be problematic. Well, to keep the post somewhat short, I give God all the glory. I saw the oncologist and well, he said that I did not need radiation treatment. He gave us a lot of information, but my husband and I left his office feeling confident that God had brought this doctor into our lives for this very reason, to show us His glory. My prayer was always that if I had to go through this that the Lord would spare me from the radiation treatment. Praise God.

In August, after a couple of years dealing with carpal tunnel pain, with both wrists, I decided to have the surgery on my right hand. I had developed two trigger fingers on my right hand that were causing me extreme pain, hence the decision to have surgery on my right hand. It too was a painful recovery. The doc was prepared to do the left hand two months later, but recovery was so painful, I opted to wait until later, much later. I still do not have full strength in my hand back, but it is better than before the surgery. That’s the main reason why I don’t blog as often. I had yet to learn about the cancer diagnoses when I had this surgery.

Well, as the year comes to a close I have much to be thankful for, but the New Year is already presenting its own challenges. Again, a story for another day. The God of the heavens desires good for His children, but His children are a stubborn and rebellious people. For this reason, Jesus Christ had to die for us to be able to stand before the Almighty. He did something that we could not do for ourselves.

Reflecting on this past year, I remembered the beautiful people we lost this year. Our loved ones always leave us too soon. The tears seem to never end. And though after a while (for most of us because of the demands of this world) they tend to fade from our memory, they never leave us, smells and experiences quickly bring them back. It’s like Vicks, the smell of homemade tortillas and cinnamon always remind me of my mother. I remember my mom always saying we should end the year doing what we want for the next year. She made sure she had a little money in her pocket so she would always have money in the next. She had to have a clean house entering the new year so all year long she would have a clean home. My mother passed in 1997. It’s the little things I remember that left the most indelible marks on my soul.

So, every year I close the year with some pretty deep reflection. I close giving God all the glory for all that He does in my life and in that of my family. We are not a perfect people, but we choose to seek God. Along the journey we make mistakes, we fail, we make enemies, but that’s part of the experience. But we know that it is the journey that brings us closer to God. And He leads us, loves us, protects us, provides for us, teaches us and disciplines us along the journey. We can’t hide anything from the Lord. Nothing is hidden that He will not make known and bring to the light (Luke 8:17).

I do not know how many years my Lord has numbered for me, but I know He has given me more than I predicted for myself. Later in life, He gave me a husband who loves me more than I ever deserved, and whom I doubly love back. Yes. In that, I am doubly blessed. There was a time that trusting God was difficult for me. There were many times that my faith waivered. Still, God has always been gracious to me and this year He showed me grace beyond measure. Trusting God can be difficult for some, more so if one has trust issues. Imagine trusting in someone you can’t see, hear, or feel. Believing is a matter of seeing Him at work in the lives of those who have learned to trust in God, but it is also more than that. It has been a long journey but I have learned to trust God, and I still have a ways to go, but I am fully persuaded that God is who He says He is. And this New Year my prayer is that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will come to know Him better, to seek Him sincerely, to learn of His ways, to live for Him, to turn from the ways of the world. In the name of Jesus.

It is almost an hour into the New Year and I would like to close with a few of my favorite quotes. Many blessing to all.

Today is unique! It has never occurred and it will never be repeated. At midnight it will end, quietly, suddenly, totally. Forever. But the hours between now and then are opportunities with eternal possibilities. Charles R. Swindoll

There are so many people who want to get together to have a great prayer meeting or other great gatherings. Friend, have you ever tried being alone? That is where God will meet with you. Take the Word of God and go off alone with Him. It will do you a lot of good. J. Vernon McGee

Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken. Rich Mullins

God spoke to Balaam through his ass. I believe God still speaks through asses today. So if God should choose to speak through you, you needn't think too highly of yourself. Rich Mullins

The hardest part of being a Christian is surrendering and that is where the real struggle happens. Once we have overcome our own desire to be elevated, our own desire to be recognized, our own desire to be independent and all those things that we value very much because we are Americans and we are part of this American culture. Once we have overcome that struggle then God can use us as a part of His body to accomplish what the body of Christ was left here to accomplish. Rich Mullins