Living in the Last Hour

Waiting on God…It’s never easy…

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Irm

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IMG_0937I have been waiting an awful long time for the Lord to restore me, to deliver me, to answer certain prayers.

I don’t like it when God is silent and distant with me. My soul aches. The times when I feel most empty and alone is when God is silent.

I cry out to my Lord, but it feels as if He turns His back and deafens His ear to me, leaving me to my anguish, when He is silent.

Being fulled persuaded that God, my God is compassionate and loving, I know that He thinks of me. I just never understand what I do that so offends Him that forces Him to turn a deaf ear.

I so enjoy the times when He is near, so near I can feel His presence. I know that He has answered my prayers. I know that He has heard my cries and eased my achy soul.

I know when my God is holding me, comforting me, healing my broken heart.

No one can understand the deep love that God has for His children, when He is the only Father they have ever known.

So many times, that’s the only place I want to be, in my Father’s hands, resting in the shadow of His wings. I can see myself just completely trusting in Him, but then the demands of the world slap me back to reality, a reality that does not know God and further judges me for trusting in a God I can’t see. Such is the way of this world.

The world, the church and the flesh judges me for putting my faith in the living God, and not in some pastor’s beautiful words, or in some church building.

I have been waiting so long my Lord. Are you ever going to open doors, or windows for me? Even a tiny little crevice would do well.

Every time You give me a message, I am so encouraged. I feel useful. I feel special. But when I don’t hear from You, it’s as if I lost my only Love.

How much longer, my Lord? In my powerless state I can do nothing. Still, I know full well, Your grace is sufficient, for Your strength is made perfect in weakness, when I weak, then You are strong.  It’s not every one that can see what’s really there. It’s not everyone that can see how You are working in the lives of Your children.

I got zero back on my worldly empowerment, lost precious time with my daughters, and lost precious time with You.

That You are working all things out, I know that full well. Help me to wait on You, my Lord. I ask for Your peace, Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

In Jesus name, my Lord.

Amen

2 responses to “Waiting on God…It’s never easy…”

  1. Levi Thetford Avatar
    Levi Thetford

    And my prayer for you this morning is for God to be ever so close to you and comfort your soul, IrmMa. May His face shine brightly upon you this day. 🙂

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  2. IrmMa Avatar
    IrmMa

    Thank you, Levi. I so do appreciate your prayer. Be blessed.

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Hello,

I’m Irma

Welcome to my little corner of the blog world. Here, I share my thoughts on Christianity, the things of God, and the ways He has shaped and guided my path through life. My journey with the Lord has been long and transformative, marked by moments of peace and joy and periods of uncertainty. I write, first and foremost, for myself—to process what the Lord so graciously reveals to me in Scripture. Sharing some of these truths has become a mission of sorts, via blogging. His word urges us to bear witness and encourage one another.

As I reflect on my own transformation, I can say that the church itself has transformed over the years and not necessarily for the good. I speak about my own experiences with the church. One lesson the Lord impressed upon me this year is that “truth is not always truth.” What do I mean by that? There have been times when I’ve shared a biblical insight, only to realize that other faithful believers interpret the same passage differently. In that instance, I find that the Lord reveals according to our understanding. When I share the need for a Damascus experience understandings diverged sharply. Believers that have been raised in the church do not feel that such an extreme experience is necessary for spiritual maturity. Our faith is truly shaped by our backgrounds. Spiritual journeys are not for everyone. This taught me that early socialization deeply colors our grasp of faith; what’s true for me may not resonate in the same way for someone else.

Similarly, lately I considered how “ignorance of Scripture was its own blessing,” I remembered my early walk with Christ. I had a blind faith. I knew little of doctrine or debate. I trusted the pastor. In those days, my faith and trust in the church and church leaders was simple—I accepted what was taught from the pulpit without questioning. I did not have the knowledge needed to question any teaching. There was a peace in not knowing all the controversies or complexities. As I grew and studied the scriptures, and did some additional research, as the Lord gave understanding, I found myself questioning everything I had been taught. I did not question my faith, or the existence of God. That ignorance, while limiting, protected me from confusion and doubt, allowing me to rest in childlike faith.

The church itself has seen many changes over the decades. Self-proclaimed prophets have introduced new doctrines, some bordering on heresy, while believers wrestle with their flesh and what it means to follow Christ in a society with so many freedoms. I remember a time, more than thirty years ago, when I trusted every word spoken in church. Now, I understand how easy it is to accept teachings that stray from biblical truth. The Scriptures warned us this would happen in the last days.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 (NKJV) “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.”

Current events—like the 2024 Election—have exposed deep flaws in American Christianity. Yet, through it all, Scripture assures me that God is sovereign. No wall built by human hands can withstand His judgment; no scheme crafted in darkness escapes His light. These lessons have become more real to me as I look back over my journals, filled with stories of God’s faithfulness during trials, tribulations and abundant grace. By sharing I hope those the Lord leads here will desire to seek God wholeheartedly, to find comfort knowing that He is always at work in our lives—often in ways we never considered.

Check out my books on Amazon for the Kindle App or in print.

Check out my latest title: Where are my Sheep? Available in Print & Kindle

The Diary of A Christian Woman

A Father Takes All: Four Generations of Growing up in Single Mother Homes – Grace Abounds

I Will Not Be Afraid: Living in the last Hour – Reflections of a Christian Woman

The Journey Endured: The Path to Meet God

Praise the God of the heavens!