I have been waiting an awful long time for the Lord to restore me, to deliver me, to answer certain prayers.

I don’t like it when God is silent and distant with me. My soul aches. The times when I feel most empty and alone is when God is silent.

I cry out to my Lord, but it feels as if He turns His back and deafens His ear to me, leaving me to my anguish, when He is silent.

Being fulled persuaded that God, my God is compassionate and loving, I know that He thinks of me. I just never understand what I do that so offends Him that forces Him to turn a deaf ear.

I so enjoy the times when He is near, so near I can feel His presence. I know that He has answered my prayers. I know that He has heard my cries and eased my achy soul.

I know when my God is holding me, comforting me, healing my broken heart.

No one can understand the deep love that God has for His children, when He is the only Father they have ever known.

So many times, that’s the only place I want to be, in my Father’s hands, resting in the shadow of His wings. I can see myself just completely trusting in Him, but then the demands of the world slap me back to reality, a reality that does not know God and further judges me for trusting in a God I can’t see. Such is the way of this world.

The world, the church and the flesh judges me for putting my faith in the living God, and not in some pastor’s beautiful words, or in some church building.

I have been waiting so long my Lord. Are you ever going to open doors, or windows for me? Even a tiny little crevice would do well.

Every time You give me a message, I am so encouraged. I feel useful. I feel special. But when I don’t hear from You, it’s as if I lost my only Love.

How much longer, my Lord? In my powerless state I can do nothing. Still, I know full well, Your grace is sufficient, for Your strength is made perfect in weakness, when I weak, then You are strong.  It’s not every one that can see what’s really there. It’s not everyone that can see how You are working in the lives of Your children.

I got zero back on my worldly empowerment, lost precious time with my daughters, and lost precious time with You.

That You are working all things out, I know that full well. Help me to wait on You, my Lord. I ask for Your peace, Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

In Jesus name, my Lord.

Amen