O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Who can forget singing this song in elementary school? This is a most fitting request, for today. “America, America!!! God shed His grace on thee!!! Have all gone the way of Balaam? God, oh God, where are your sheep?

I had to write this book for myself. You might ask why. Well, being a Christian these days leaves much to be desired. Divisions among the masses should not be so problematic but it is. Society is divided down social, political, religious, racial, ethnics, socioeconomics, even gender is dividing us. The only dividing line that matters is the one the Lord has yet to draw, the one between the wheat and the tares. That line is going to shock many believers.

The carnal mind is enmity against God, said the apostle Paul. The carnal mind is yucky, and constantly in turmoil. And the truth is – there is no fixing the carnal mind. There is a plethora of self-help books, programs, counselors, psychiatrists, various drugs and such and people still find it difficult to find contentment. The mind can be discombobulated, and constantly racing. We blame technology, and the traditional stressors. I believe individuals, if they want it, can find peace of mind apart from God, but that itself does not provide eternal life.

Despite, prayer and assorted treatments the struggle for peace of mind and contentment persists (Individuals with chemical imbalances may fall in here. But this is not about them.) Some people seem to be in perpetual recovery. It’s a “day by day” thing. Granted, in some situations it is easier to find a happy medium than in others. Before I had children, I was a neat freak. I think I got it from my mom. Well, when my first child came along, things changed. The situation demanded change because my little one was not any kind of neat anything. Toddlers. You gotta love them! I had learned from fellow Christian moms the importance of disciplining early. For a toddler, it was OK to use a spoon, or a rolled up newspaper as the rod of discipline. I had this in mind when my beautiful baby turned into a toddler.

Oh my gosh! In 1984 I had no idea how to parent a little human. I had taken a Bradley birthing class to help with delivery and such, but that’s it. All I knew was spare the rod and spoil the child. My ex had enlisted in the Army shortly after our first child was born. We had a rough first year. I knew less about how to be a wife than I did about being a mother. Well, our first duty station was in Tennessee. It was a long way from friends and family in Texas. My husband was not much help either. I found myself alone, a lot. It was not a pleasant time. Dealing with a toddler and my compulsive need for cleanliness and order well, the two did not mesh. My beautiful baby girl wound up the experimental child. I had no idea how to measure discipline. But doing it made me feel guilty. Once I got upset over her messes, I turned into a monster. My husband was a worse disciplinarian than I was. My baby and me made it through the first two years. When our second child was born I had gotten past the need for a perfectly clean home. God was so merciful. I had to learn the hard lesson that environmental factors and influences affect us more than we like to acknowledge. That first experience led to more trials and tribulations in child rearing. That I was able to resolve all those early parenting experiences took more than twenty-years and only by the mercy of a loving God.

environmental factors and influences

Some minds long for something. I longed to be acknowledged and accepted. Because of my childhood experience, there was always something missing, or something that I needed to let go, or situations I would have rather not had to face. But I would not change any of it. Some people wish this or that hadn’t happened; or that they would have thought things out better. It can take a while to find resolve in many situations. This is likely a small percentage of Americans who feel this way. I am sure there’s a statistic out there somewhere. Either way, I loved my baby so much. I wanted her to know that fully.

We live in a complex society. We have many freedoms, but not really. Contemplating the human condition is something we probably all do, to an extent, but we do not dwell on it. We do not seek understanding for the things that are. We just accept things as they are. We do not consider our contributions for the way things are, nor do we feel a need to hold ourselves accountable for the way things are.

Human thought, the mind, is a fascinating creation. But the spiritual mind, that’s a different beast. It does not exist in the same realm as the carnal mind. It can’t. I don’t know about you, but I do not know anyone that walks according to the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-18). I have one friend that came close, then COVID hit. The apostle Paul encourages us to live peacefully as much as possible, but let’s be honest that is not always possible. If it is at all. We live in a greedy society. We live in a society in constant want, want more of this, more of that, want stuff we don’t have, or can’t afford. And lately, every Christian I know if ready for war. Everyone I know is ready to defend their “stuff”, especially their vehicle. Everyone I know owns a handgun and kid you not that is their “piece” of mind. We talk peace but we walk in constant fear. I don’t believe that fear produces peace.

FYI I am going somewhere with this. It is a bit hard to explain. I am going to try. I was talking to my husband about this because I am having a difficult time understanding a Christian leader’s attitude. This Christian leader is closer to home.

basic belief

As believers, we believe in the Son of God, Jesus Christ who came to die a sacrificial death to reconcile man back to God, save man from sin, offer eternal life for those who believe in Him (John 3:16). And we believe in His Father, God almighty, and in every attribute that is He. For those who believe this is fundamental. These days, I feel like I have to define what I believe because inevitably the current religious/political climate clouds this basic truth.

Being a Christian is no longer just about believing in the Son of God and all that it entails. especially transformation. We are pressured, coerced, and manipulated into aligning with the right political party, in the name of God. It is not about light and darkness, or evil and good. Republicans have declared that abortion, and LGBTQ, and everything else that the party declares is evil – is evil and anti-God, anti-American values, anti-Christian and on and on. It’s blah, blah, blah. And the fact that they promote themselves as the party of God – is extremely disturbing. I will never agree that the reds are God’s people, or God’s deliverers. God has no need for political parties, or political ideologies, or even American idealism. God is not interested in who I vote for. He is not interested in my nationality. He just wants me to trust Him regardless of worldly leaders. That’s what all leaders are, worldly. They have chosen to engage in the affairs of this world. And the Scriptures have something to say about that too.

Let me share this story. As I said, I met with a couple who have been in ministry for fifty years. The pastor led me to the Lord back in 1982. I learned a lot from him and from the church I attended. I was baptized into the Baptist faith. When COVID hit, it took no time for my friends and family to choose sides. Even without party lines, there was the great divide over the COVID vaccine and mandates. Then Trump fanaticism further added to the division. Some divisions have yet to be resolved. We just avoid hot topics. Fast forward to March 5, 2026.

The husband of this duo contacted me with an urgent need. They lead a church in a low income neighborhood. They were in the process of building a parsonage and needed help with church documents. Well, it turned out to be a long drawn out process.

Fast forward to earlier this month. I learned that the pastor was gifted a parcel of church land for his years of service, which is not a common practice. Due to insufficient funds, their plans to build a private home on the land fell through. So, the land was transferred back to the church. Well, the building of a church parsonage is actually a sort of ruse. The parsonage will be built, tax free then it will be transferred back to the couple as a gift. Now, this is all legal because the church membership voted to gift the land. The funding is still short, so even the building of parsonage is delayed. The whole situation really does tread on murky waters. If you know anything about nonprofit laws and church bylaws you may understand my uneasiness in this situation. Everyone seems ok with it. Me? I go back and forth with the ethical implications.

Well, yesterday, we were talking about other options to obtain the needed funds. A loan is possible, but the idea of monthly payments does not sit well with these two. They are considering it because the plan is to transfer the land back into their name as soon as the home is built, or within a reasonable amount of time and then apply for a reverse mortgage to payoff the balance.

Doesn’t this sound just a bit convoluted? Yet. It’s quite legal so long as the church membership vote to approve. Well, as we talked yesterday we were talking about paying for materials using the tax free form. Well, they are a non-profit and are tax-exempt but get this they never used it. And pastor just found out his veteran discount is bigger than the tax exemption. And it was so funny.

The pastor was saying he never uses, or takes the free veteran stuff given to vets for their service. He says he didn’t join the military to get free stuff. He says, it sounds self-righteous, but he just doesn’t want to take advantage of the perks. I agree it does sound a bit-self-righteous, but it sounds more prideful. He has described his political beliefs as proud conservative. It definitely does sound like pride rearing its ugly head. These are the type of interactions that are messing with my Christian values. I learned from these folks. For me, they held up their integrity as a beacon of hope. How can a church leader be ok with sticking it to the man, but not ok with accepting veteran perks. They are free. No one is offering these benefits against their will. They are a small token of appreciation for service to our country.

I am persuaded that only God can transform the heart of any man. And when pride lives in the heart of man I think it’s impossible to present a right witness. So, who is the man who walks in the Spirit of God? I don’t know. I do know that such a walk is impossible with compromised ethics, behaviors, actions and pride in the heart. If this one interaction bothers my spirit, how does it impact the person who is not believer? To boot that fellow men of God encourage the pastor to take advantage of these “loopholes” is even more alarming. It’s men doing what is right in his own mind. Rationalization allows us to justify our lusts.

Just something to consider. This particular church is in need of significant repairs. I am going to try and find the pastor someway to raise funds for the repairs. I am also going to pray that the Lord will meet his housing needs according to His will.

Thanks for reading.