I have to say – never – had I considered how significant the role of the father is (present tense) to the family unit. Having been raised in a single-parent home and raising my children as such, I can understand the circumstances that force women to parent alone, and the whys of women that choose to parent alone. I’ve experienced all the different scenarios that led to the decision. It happens. I can assume that this status prevented me from truly appreciating the role of father. I did not question why it happen? We know the answer to that … and even if you don’t, guessing would probably yield a correct response.

If you’ve never read Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton…it’s worth a read. I found it a bit difficult to read at first, until I realized the man was speaking/writing like my daughter…in a sort of dry wit. He uses a lot of ism words. Anyway, he touches on the idea of free will, free thought…and such. “We have looked for questions in the darkest of corners and on the wildest peaks. We have found all the questions that can be found. It is time we gave up looking for questions and began looking for answers (Orthodoxy p.33,Chesterton).

Mind you, he was writing back at the turn of the 20th century. That was a long time ago! That’s to say…we knew everything – we needed to know… long before Chesterton’s time. Technology has changed the way humans interact and transact business, but it has not changed the character of man, or his destiny. Apart from God man is still wicked and vile and on and on. My question: Is there a solution to the absent father?

So…when it comes to fathers… what happened the last 100 years? It’s rhetorical. Many things changed in the last 100 years, especially the role of women. My father was born in 1910. My ex-husband was born in 1959. Yet the same personal attributes led to their departure. Clearly fathers’ that want out – find a way out. Man (mankind) left to his own devices will always choose the wrong roads. Today we know more about human traits. We know that man will buy anything if it’s wrapped in chocolate, sexy lingerie, or mixed or served with Jose, Jim, or Jack – no matter the potential for destruction.

Proverbs 14: 12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But (Jits end is the way of death.

So what do we say of fathers? Well, that’s a no brainer. They are men. But I speak of fathers. Men who chose to procreate – whether by choice, recklessness, ignorance, or pure evil – they made that choice. Life did not choose itself to be. Certain species of animals can reproduce without a male. Not the human. Woman cannot create life without a male. She needs a mate! Now, my little family is creating male children. They will not be heading a single mother home. God willing they will not head a single father home either. My prayer is that my grandsons will consider procreating with extreme caution.

My only granddaughter was also raised, for most of her life,without her father. She knew him, lived with him for a school year, and for the most part he did nothing to protect her – so she paid the consequences.

My oldest grandson was born in 2006. Knowing what I know at this point about fathers..my hope is to help raise a man that will be a man of integrity. A man committed to the things of God. A man who considers life for all its worth and not like yesterday’s trash.

No, it’s not Father’s Day yet. But I do hope that anyone that was raised and nurtured by a good father can truly appreciate the miracle God gave them.

Then, of course we have to define “good”… but that’s for another day.

Proverbs 14: 27 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,
To turn one away from the snares of death. I believe there is a solution to the absent father – but it’s a solution that no one wants to hear.

Thank you for reading my rant.

Be blessed, y’all

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I’m Irma

Welcome to my little corner of the blog world. Here, I share my thoughts on Christianity, the things of God, and the ways He has shaped and guided my path through life. My journey with the Lord has been long and transformative, marked by moments of peace and joy and periods of uncertainty. I write, first and foremost, for myself—to process what the Lord so graciously reveals to me in Scripture. Sharing some of these truths has become a mission of sorts, via blogging. His word urges us to bear witness and encourage one another.

As I reflect on my own transformation, I can say that the church itself has transformed over the years and not necessarily for the good. I speak about my own experiences with the church. One lesson the Lord impressed upon me this year is that “truth is not always truth.” What do I mean by that? There have been times when I’ve shared a biblical insight, only to realize that other faithful believers interpret the same passage differently. In that instance, I find that the Lord reveals according to our understanding. When I share the need for a Damascus experience understandings diverged sharply. Believers that have been raised in the church do not feel that such an extreme experience is necessary for spiritual maturity. Our faith is truly shaped by our backgrounds. Spiritual journeys are not for everyone. This taught me that early socialization deeply colors our grasp of faith; what’s true for me may not resonate in the same way for someone else.

Similarly, lately I considered how “ignorance of Scripture was its own blessing,” I remembered my early walk with Christ. I had a blind faith. I knew little of doctrine or debate. I trusted the pastor. In those days, my faith and trust in the church and church leaders was simple—I accepted what was taught from the pulpit without questioning. I did not have the knowledge needed to question any teaching. There was a peace in not knowing all the controversies or complexities. As I grew and studied the scriptures, and did some additional research, as the Lord gave understanding, I found myself questioning everything I had been taught. I did not question my faith, or the existence of God. That ignorance, while limiting, protected me from confusion and doubt, allowing me to rest in childlike faith.

The church itself has seen many changes over the decades. Self-proclaimed prophets have introduced new doctrines, some bordering on heresy, while believers wrestle with their flesh and what it means to follow Christ in a society with so many freedoms. I remember a time, more than thirty years ago, when I trusted every word spoken in church. Now, I understand how easy it is to accept teachings that stray from biblical truth. The Scriptures warned us this would happen in the last days.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 (NKJV) “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.”

Current events—like the 2024 Election—have exposed deep flaws in American Christianity. Yet, through it all, Scripture assures me that God is sovereign. No wall built by human hands can withstand His judgment; no scheme crafted in darkness escapes His light. These lessons have become more real to me as I look back over my journals, filled with stories of God’s faithfulness during trials, tribulations and abundant grace. By sharing I hope those the Lord leads here will desire to seek God wholeheartedly, to find comfort knowing that He is always at work in our lives—often in ways we never considered.

Check out my books on Amazon for the Kindle App or in print.

Check out my latest title: Where are my Sheep? Available in Print & Kindle

The Diary of A Christian Woman

A Father Takes All: Four Generations of Growing up in Single Mother Homes – Grace Abounds

I Will Not Be Afraid: Living in the last Hour – Reflections of a Christian Woman

The Journey Endured: The Path to Meet God

Praise the God of the heavens!