My faith fails me more often than I am willing to admit. Mostly, it fails me when it comes to me, because I have no problem keeping the faith for others. I am confident that God works in the lives of others, of those that I lift up in prayer, and that their struggles are designed to draw them closer to Him in a more intimate way. When it comes to me, sometimes, I feel like He does not even like me. I struggle so much, in so many different areas, but God does not see fit to open doors, or to open even a window to bring me out of these struggles, still… He provides, protects, directs, comforts, and gives me peace of mind, guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. His ultimate goal…to get me totally dependent on Him. I hear it often, that faith is not faith, until it’s all you are holding on to, well…at this point it’s all I hold on to, so when it fails me, I weep. It’s easy to keep faith when you have resources to work with. Lack, on the other hand, makes learning to be content in all situations quite difficult. Thank God for His faithfulness. 

It’s going through and coming through difficult times that builds character, the character of God, that is. Jesus said that His followers would suffer persecution. John 15:2, tell us that “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” I know that we cannot separate from this world, but we can separate ourselves from the love of the things of this world. The birds need to eat, the flowers need watering, so too… we need provision in this world. How does God expect people survive without a job, or basic necessities? Yet, He tells us not to worry about such things. 

I have learned and accepted that God can remain silent for a long time, and I believe that He speaks to those that are willing to listen.  These last days, it’s the rare believer that can call on his heavenly Father and have Him answer him. It’s the rare believer that truly hears from God. More often than not, when we call on our heavenly Father, we are not always prepared to listen. It’s like the whiny child that whines only to get his way…so goes our prayer life.

In His silence, I pray, Lord, I am here. How am I suppose to help all these people in need, when I have no means? There is so much need. Sometimes, I don’t even know what to pray for, or how to pray for certain people, or in certain situations. No one reaches out.

How can I be friends with so many Christians and still feel alone in my battles. They call me friend, sister in Christ, but In my situation, I too feel like an outcast, inadequate, insufficient, lacking confidence. Surely, I must be deep in sin…search my heart, my Lord.  It is overwhelming. It’s this whole idea of “toxic people” that even Christians have turned aside. No one wants to deal with “toxic people.” The poor, the weak, the downtrodden, the broken, the people You came to save…are crouched outside…like the paralytics, the lepers…all looking for something, they don’t know…You bring these people into my life, so I lift them up in prayer to You. It’s that their situation fails to change that Christians turn a deaf ear. If you will not allow me to help them, teach me how to pray for them.

So many people claim to know You. They call on your name, but their hearts are far from You. It’s quite evident with every word that proceeds out of their mouth. Still, all of us fall short of the glory of God. Have mercy on us. People are calling on Your name, my Lord. In the name of Jesus save us. Amen.

In these last days, in our ever increasing perverse and noise-ridden society, we have to fine tune our spiritual eyes and ears to see God moving about.