LIVING IN THE LAST HOUR

We could all be living our last hour.

Recent Posts

  • Why our social world continues to decline…

    really needs a historical review. I don’t know if I would take that research on. It’s not difficult to see that our world, social and otherwise has changed. Some for the better, some not so much. The not so much, cost of living has gone up, but so have wages, although they do not keep up with each other. We are less patient, less tolerant, less optimistic, less free. There are more cars on the road and more aggressive drivers. Americans are more cynical, critical, sarcastic, and pessimistic about the future. And those are just people in my circle and comments I read on my social media. Nextdoor is crazy! There is no doubt everyone knows someone that has one or more of these traits.

    Why are we less free? Well, we are more fearful. I live in Texas. Just about everyone carries. I figure if folks feel a need to pack a weapon of any kind they must anticipate or expect danger. That’s the world we live in. That’s bondage to fear.

    During the COVID months, I found it difficult to understand the fear evangelicals had with persecution. There was no threat. The fear, for what they did not understand, drove them to the arms of conspiracy theorists. They feared those things which Jesus told us to expect. They fear worldly influences will seduce their children to the dark side. They teach their children to fear. The Scriptures are many – many -that speak to our journey in Christ. What to expect. What not to fall for and on and on.

    • “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” 1 John 2:15
    • “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2
    • “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” – James 4:4 (Our American identity and our identity if Christ are in conflict.)
    • “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10 (Every person that enters politics must win the approval of fellow human beings -if they are to be elected.)
    • “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
    • “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Luke 6:31 (So, if you bully, you can expect to be bullied.)
    • “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-4
    • “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” – 1 Peter 5:10

    I am not surprised by the pastors standing firm on the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. These days defining the true gospel even seems impossible. But it really isn’t. Under the current administration our social world has been dramatically flipped. When laws once divided Americans by skin color, life was significantly harder for those with darker skin. Even after all the laws changed for the better, for people of color, many Americans held on to their prejudices and stereotypes, keeping people of color out of their orbit. So, white Americans created their own communities. And still the laws continued to change. People of color, for the most part, remain marginalized, but who would acknowledge it?

    Clearly, the cost of intolerance was more and is more than some folks were willing to pay. And the church rather than being the instrument of change, peace, and forgiveness, grace, well – we know how that went. Being tolerant of differences – had nothing to do with accepting sinful behaviors as the norm. Yet, taking that route, for many evangelicals some sinful behaviors became more normalized, more forgiving, than others. They took sin and put it on a gradation scale. Not God. He has not changed. Sin is sin. The scripture says, everyone who sins is a slave to sin, does it not? It does not matter what the sin is, big or little, subtle, or obvious. Most of us may have one or more sins we do not give much consideration to. No Christian can deny that truth.

    We were born into our circumstances.

    We all had to undergo socialization into our various communities, for the good or the bad. Our social world can only decline as it transforms into whatever it will be next. History has shown us how this plays out. It’s like cleaning out a closet. You have to take everything out to clean and organize it. It gets messy.

    The Jim Crow era was intact in the United States from the late 1800’s until century, around the mid-1960s. Here is where racial segregation and disenfranchisement of African Americans thrived. White Americans were in their element and they loved it. Then came the Civil Rights Movement and our world slowly came out of the color divide. It still had, has a long way to go. The last few years we have regressed.

    Encouragement is found in the Scriptures.

    Through all this mess our social has experienced (Even though I know God is at work here and there are multiple factors involved, today’s evangelicals created this mess, because of their lust for power and control over a people they judge. Like Jonah did. This is a picture of the children of God turning away from God.) I have learned the need for spiritual discernment. This world is what it is. It is not my home. I do not expect the world to change for me, or my faith. The world cannot change if the hearts of man are not changed. Scripture says the heart is continually only evil (Genesis 6:5). But though we may have an evil heart, we do good. I would pray to the Lord to save me and mine from the evil influences, from the evil one who walks about looking for whom he may devour, from Karen, and the hooded and masked of this world. But, as the three Hebrew children proclaimed, even if God chose not to save us, I would not turn away from Him, and I would not cave to the gods of this world. Do I want God to save me? Yes. But persecution is not a possibility for those that believe. It is a biblical reality. We will face persecution. Read the Scriptures. It’s in there. When? Well, the Scriptures only provide signs to watch for.

    Let’s get scripturally real here. No earthly law, or biblical law, no earthly leader is going to change the heart of man. “Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin (Romans 3:20).” It is the work of the Holy Spirit to change the heart of men. God does not reside in temples made by human hands. The apostle, Paul wrote, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is edifying (1 Corinthians 10:23)” We have freedoms in Christ. We have freedom in this country. But our American freedom, that which we cherish and protect, with the lives of our loved ones, does not give us permission to do, say, or act any which way we want. I recall a saying. I have not heard it for decades. “I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it.” Freedom of speech, basic. Well, neither does our freedom in Christ allow us the freedom to sin at will.

    The church is infested with false teachers and doctrines of demons, and the traditions of men that sound genuinely biblical. That is nothing new. It sounds cool too. It is what itching ears want to hear (2 Timothy 4:3). And church folk eat it up like manna from heaven. The Scriptures tell us to expect as much. So, all this, is every man doing what is right in his own eyes. He holds himself accountable to no one, not even God. This is typical behavior for the children of Israel. Can we expect anything good from them? Nope. God will deal with them as He always has.

    So, I pray. I trust God to work things out for our good, according to His will. I read the Scriptures. I am not turned away from the church, the body of Christ, nor does it shake my faith in God. Locally, and out there, many Christian leaders I once saw as godly, have lost all integrity in my eyes. It’s like Joshua 9. They spew religious – political verbiage, they do it in the public square, and deny God His glory.

    This fallen world is full of false gods, idolatry and all sorts of lusts, pride, arrogance, and hate. The end game, to lead God’s people away from Him. And it is working.

    If I believed that being anti-abortion, pro-life, anti-LGBT, anti-left, or a republican, if I believed holding any of these labels made me righteous, or holy, I would be deceived. If I thought wearing these labels were a straight shot to heaven, I would be deceived. These worldly labels only make me politically minded. If I was commanded to deny Christ and live, I would be persecuted and possibly put to death. I expect that would come to pass. When? Your guess is as good as mine. I keep my eyes on the Lord.

    Jonah did not want God to save Ninevah. He knew God was a forgiving God. He wanted God to destroy a people that had destroyed much of his world. So, does the evangelical not want God to forgive certain people? The evangelical church made its bed when it mingled with the world.

    Scripture says “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and a house divided against a house falls (Luke 11:17).”

    God will judge our deeds. The God of the heavens likely laughs at the futility of men trying to do what it feels they have to do to feel good about themselves. May God have mercy on our souls.

    Be blessed.

  • Where are God’s Sheep?

    O beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of grain,
    For purple mountain majesties
    Above the fruited plain!
    America! America!
    God shed His grace on thee,
    And crown thy good with brotherhood
    From sea to shining sea!

    Who can forget singing this song in elementary school? This is a most fitting request, for today. “America, America!!! God shed His grace on thee!!! Have all gone the way of Balaam? God, oh God, where are your sheep?

    I had to write this book for myself. You might ask why. Well, being a Christian these days leaves much to be desired. Divisions among the masses should not be so problematic but it is. Society is divided down social, political, religious, racial, ethnics, socioeconomics, even gender is dividing us. The only dividing line that matters is the one the Lord has yet to draw, the one between the wheat and the tares. That line is going to shock many believers.

    The carnal mind is enmity against God, said the apostle Paul. The carnal mind is yucky, and constantly in turmoil. And the truth is – there is no fixing the carnal mind. There is a plethora of self-help books, programs, counselors, psychiatrists, various drugs and such and people still find it difficult to find contentment. The mind can be discombobulated, and constantly racing. We blame technology, and the traditional stressors. I believe individuals, if they want it, can find peace of mind apart from God, but that itself does not provide eternal life.

    Despite, prayer and assorted treatments the struggle for peace of mind and contentment persists (Individuals with chemical imbalances may fall in here. But this is not about them.) Some people seem to be in perpetual recovery. It’s a “day by day” thing. Granted, in some situations it is easier to find a happy medium than in others. Before I had children, I was a neat freak. I think I got it from my mom. Well, when my first child came along, things changed. The situation demanded change because my little one was not any kind of neat anything. Toddlers. You gotta love them! I had learned from fellow Christian moms the importance of disciplining early. For a toddler, it was OK to use a spoon, or a rolled up newspaper as the rod of discipline. I had this in mind when my beautiful baby turned into a toddler.

    Oh my gosh! In 1984 I had no idea how to parent a little human. I had taken a Bradley birthing class to help with delivery and such, but that’s it. All I knew was spare the rod and spoil the child. My ex had enlisted in the Army shortly after our first child was born. We had a rough first year. I knew less about how to be a wife than I did about being a mother. Well, our first duty station was in Tennessee. It was a long way from friends and family in Texas. My husband was not much help either. I found myself alone, a lot. It was not a pleasant time. Dealing with a toddler and my compulsive need for cleanliness and order well, the two did not mesh. My beautiful baby girl wound up the experimental child. I had no idea how to measure discipline. But doing it made me feel guilty. Once I got upset over her messes, I turned into a monster. My husband was a worse disciplinarian than I was. My baby and me made it through the first two years. When our second child was born I had gotten past the need for a perfectly clean home. God was so merciful. I had to learn the hard lesson that environmental factors and influences affect us more than we like to acknowledge. That first experience led to more trials and tribulations in child rearing. That I was able to resolve all those early parenting experiences took more than twenty-years and only by the mercy of a loving God.

    environmental factors and influences

    Some minds long for something. I longed to be acknowledged and accepted. Because of my childhood experience, there was always something missing, or something that I needed to let go, or situations I would have rather not had to face. But I would not change any of it. Some people wish this or that hadn’t happened; or that they would have thought things out better. It can take a while to find resolve in many situations. This is likely a small percentage of Americans who feel this way. I am sure there’s a statistic out there somewhere. Either way, I loved my baby so much. I wanted her to know that fully.

    We live in a complex society. We have many freedoms, but not really. Contemplating the human condition is something we probably all do, to an extent, but we do not dwell on it. We do not seek understanding for the things that are. We just accept things as they are. We do not consider our contributions for the way things are, nor do we feel a need to hold ourselves accountable for the way things are.

    Human thought, the mind, is a fascinating creation. But the spiritual mind, that’s a different beast. It does not exist in the same realm as the carnal mind. It can’t. I don’t know about you, but I do not know anyone that walks according to the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-18). I have one friend that came close, then COVID hit. The apostle Paul encourages us to live peacefully as much as possible, but let’s be honest that is not always possible. If it is at all. We live in a greedy society. We live in a society in constant want, want more of this, more of that, want stuff we don’t have, or can’t afford. And lately, every Christian I know if ready for war. Everyone I know is ready to defend their “stuff”, especially their vehicle. Everyone I know owns a handgun and kid you not that is their “piece” of mind. We talk peace but we walk in constant fear. I don’t believe that fear produces peace.

    FYI I am going somewhere with this. It is a bit hard to explain. I am going to try. I was talking to my husband about this because I am having a difficult time understanding a Christian leader’s attitude. This Christian leader is closer to home.

    basic belief

    As believers, we believe in the Son of God, Jesus Christ who came to die a sacrificial death to reconcile man back to God, save man from sin, offer eternal life for those who believe in Him (John 3:16). And we believe in His Father, God almighty, and in every attribute that is He. For those who believe this is fundamental. These days, I feel like I have to define what I believe because inevitably the current religious/political climate clouds this basic truth.

    Being a Christian is no longer just about believing in the Son of God and all that it entails. especially transformation. We are pressured, coerced, and manipulated into aligning with the right political party, in the name of God. It is not about light and darkness, or evil and good. Republicans have declared that abortion, and LGBTQ, and everything else that the party declares is evil – is evil and anti-God, anti-American values, anti-Christian and on and on. It’s blah, blah, blah. And the fact that they promote themselves as the party of God – is extremely disturbing. I will never agree that the reds are God’s people, or God’s deliverers. God has no need for political parties, or political ideologies, or even American idealism. God is not interested in who I vote for. He is not interested in my nationality. He just wants me to trust Him regardless of worldly leaders. That’s what all leaders are, worldly. They have chosen to engage in the affairs of this world. And the Scriptures have something to say about that too.

    Let me share this story. As I said, I met with a couple who have been in ministry for fifty years. The pastor led me to the Lord back in 1982. I learned a lot from him and from the church I attended. I was baptized into the Baptist faith. When COVID hit, it took no time for my friends and family to choose sides. Even without party lines, there was the great divide over the COVID vaccine and mandates. Then Trump fanaticism further added to the division. Some divisions have yet to be resolved. We just avoid hot topics. Fast forward to March 5, 2026.

    The husband of this duo contacted me with an urgent need. They lead a church in a low income neighborhood. They were in the process of building a parsonage and needed help with church documents. Well, it turned out to be a long drawn out process.

    Fast forward to earlier this month. I learned that the pastor was gifted a parcel of church land for his years of service, which is not a common practice. Due to insufficient funds, their plans to build a private home on the land fell through. So, the land was transferred back to the church. Well, the building of a church parsonage is actually a sort of ruse. The parsonage will be built, tax free then it will be transferred back to the couple as a gift. Now, this is all legal because the church membership voted to gift the land. The funding is still short, so even the building of parsonage is delayed. The whole situation really does tread on murky waters. If you know anything about nonprofit laws and church bylaws you may understand my uneasiness in this situation. Everyone seems ok with it. Me? I go back and forth with the ethical implications.

    Well, yesterday, we were talking about other options to obtain the needed funds. A loan is possible, but the idea of monthly payments does not sit well with these two. They are considering it because the plan is to transfer the land back into their name as soon as the home is built, or within a reasonable amount of time and then apply for a reverse mortgage to payoff the balance.

    Doesn’t this sound just a bit convoluted? Yet. It’s quite legal so long as the church membership vote to approve. Well, as we talked yesterday we were talking about paying for materials using the tax free form. Well, they are a non-profit and are tax-exempt but get this they never used it. And pastor just found out his veteran discount is bigger than the tax exemption. And it was so funny.

    The pastor was saying he never uses, or takes the free veteran stuff given to vets for their service. He says he didn’t join the military to get free stuff. He says, it sounds self-righteous, but he just doesn’t want to take advantage of the perks. I agree it does sound a bit-self-righteous, but it sounds more prideful. He has described his political beliefs as proud conservative. It definitely does sound like pride rearing its ugly head. These are the type of interactions that are messing with my Christian values. I learned from these folks. For me, they held up their integrity as a beacon of hope. How can a church leader be ok with sticking it to the man, but not ok with accepting veteran perks. They are free. No one is offering these benefits against their will. They are a small token of appreciation for service to our country.

    I am persuaded that only God can transform the heart of any man. And when pride lives in the heart of man I think it’s impossible to present a right witness. So, who is the man who walks in the Spirit of God? I don’t know. I do know that such a walk is impossible with compromised ethics, behaviors, actions and pride in the heart. If this one interaction bothers my spirit, how does it impact the person who is not believer? To boot that fellow men of God encourage the pastor to take advantage of these “loopholes” is even more alarming. It’s men doing what is right in his own mind. Rationalization allows us to justify our lusts.

    Just something to consider. This particular church is in need of significant repairs. I am going to try and find the pastor someway to raise funds for the repairs. I am also going to pray that the Lord will meet his housing needs according to His will.

    Thanks for reading.

  • There is a time and purpose for everything

    Life happens in stages. We know that to well. Each season prepares us for the next one or should anyway. Humans go from conception to birth to infancy to childhood, to youth to young adult to full fledge grown-up, then middle age hits, followed by the long-awaited twilight years that welcome us, but not always with open arms. I don’t have a favorite time. Every stage of my life was challenging. That I managed to move from one stage to the next was nothing but God’s grace. I would not want to relive or change any part of it. I have no idea the kind of woman I would have become had my life gone off in a different direction. 

    I am reminded of a movie Failure to Launch, a 2006 movie, with Sarah Jessica Parker. Her character is hired by parents whose adult son has yet to move out on his own. In his mid-thirties, this grown man shows no interest in moving out. He has it made. Why would he want to disrupt his cozy life? I can admit, the only men I knew still living at home had taken on the task of caring for an aging parent. They moved from one stage to one they probably were not expecting. I moved from being married to being divorced and a single parent. I was not expecting that turnabout of events.

    So to everything, I have accepted, there is a season and a purpose under God’s direction. What that is, well…

    I am persuaded that God directs our steps. And that they do not always lead where we want them to go. The lessons inevitably await us.

    I started feeling ill late last week. I have a lot of GI issues. When my stomach aches I have a routine that resolves the pain. I did not want to alarm my husband, but this time around, the pain felt different. It was more intense. Not eating for a day calmed my ache for a bit, but on Sunday, yesterday, the pain was back. My husband asked how I was feeling. I finally told him I should go to urgent care to make sure the pain was not something more serious, like with my kidneys. So, we went. Being Sunday morning, I did not have to wait. I saw the doc and explained my pain and such. When she examined me, she was like, “You are tender all over.” I had to agree. I was in pain. So, she ran some tests, blood, urine, x-rays and an ultrasound. Well, she asked if I was going to wait for the results. I was in pain so yes. We waited for the results.

    Well. This took most of the morning. When the results came back the doc calls me back. She sits next to me and says, “You have a lot going on.” I was like, “Oh no.” As it turned out my pain was indeed different. First, the x-ray showed I had a kidney stone. The blood work showed my pancreas was irritated. The ultrasound showed stones in my kidneys. And my liver has signs of hardening. The liver info, I did not quite understand. She explained a bit and said it was probably a fatty liver, but she was referring me to a liver specialist for further evaluation. Well. I shared the results with my husband. And he was surprised by the results but also thankful that I had decided to go the urgent care clinic.

    Hearing the results did not shake me as much as when I was diagnosed with cancer in the palate in 2023. I was shocked by that diagnosis. I did not even know you could get cancer in the palate – but you can. The following year my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. That same year my brother was diagnosed with skin cancer. On Saturday, I was at a church function and met a woman there who had undergone chemo therapy for stomach cancer. She actually had to have her stomach removed. This woman shared part of her testimony with us. And her story was all too familiar, one of survival of childhood trauma and cancer to boot. As she shared her story, I thought about a close relative who had experienced a very similar childhood. And I thought. Gosh, I think most of us have more stories of survival, and redemption than we care to admit, or even recall. Too often, an illness brings up many of these memories.

    Our shared experiences make us human. These experiences connect us in ways that sometimes, we can’t even explain. Sometimes, hearing others share their stories remind us of our own, or someone else’s. At least, it does for me. Through it all, I see the Lord working in us, through our experiences, to get us to a place where we consider the human experience. There is a purpose. We are not just born into a world where we live and die unto ourselves. We touch the life of others. They may be in our orbit, maybe not. But in some fashion, at some point we do touch the life of another. Maybe not everyone is touched by my lived experiences, but my experiences are not anymore or any less consequential in the eyes of a holy God.

    This world is passing away. As fellow believers how we live out our lives matters. We never know when our lives are going to touch another life. Our stories of survival and redemption are for a season, for a purpose under heaven orchestrated by a holy God. I rarely talk about my palate cancer. But, I have seen many people share their cancer journey on social media. In that instance, my experience does not compare. Cancer is an experience I would rather not share, but…

    But there is purpose to everything the Lord had created.

    Be blessed.