I have to say – never – had I considered how significant the role of the father is (present tense) to the family unit. Having been raised in a single-parent home and raising my children as such, I can understand the circumstances that force women to parent alone, and the whys of women that choose to parent alone. I’ve experienced all the different scenarios that led to the decision. It happens. I can assume that this status prevented me from truly appreciating the role of father. I did not question why it happen? We know the answer to that … and even if you don’t, guessing would probably yield a correct response.
If you’ve never read Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton…it’s worth a read. I found it a bit difficult to read at first, until I realized the man was speaking/writing like my daughter…in a sort of dry wit. He uses a lot of ism words. Anyway, he touches on the idea of free will, free thought…and such. “We have looked for questions in the darkest of corners and on the wildest peaks. We have found all the questions that can be found. It is time we gave up looking for questions and began looking for answers (Orthodoxy p.33,Chesterton).
Mind you, he was writing back at the turn of the 20th century. That was a long time ago! That’s to say…we knew everything – we needed to know… long before Chesterton’s time. Technology has changed the way humans interact and transact business, but it has not changed the character of man, or his destiny. Apart from God man is still wicked and vile and on and on. My question: Is there a solution to the absent father?
So…when it comes to fathers… what happened the last 100 years? It’s rhetorical. Many things changed in the last 100 years, especially the role of women. My father was born in 1910. My ex-husband was born in 1959. Yet the same personal attributes led to their departure. Clearly fathers’ that want out – find a way out. Man (mankind) left to his own devices will always choose the wrong roads. Today we know more about human traits. We know that man will buy anything if it’s wrapped in chocolate, sexy lingerie, or mixed or served with Jose, Jim, or Jack – no matter the potential for destruction.
Proverbs 14: 12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But (Jits end is the way of death.
So what do we say of fathers? Well, that’s a no brainer. They are men. But I speak of fathers. Men who chose to procreate – whether by choice, recklessness, ignorance, or pure evil – they made that choice. Life did not choose itself to be. Certain species of animals can reproduce without a male. Not the human. Woman cannot create life without a male. She needs a mate! Now, my little family is creating male children. They will not be heading a single mother home. God willing they will not head a single father home either. My prayer is that my grandsons will consider procreating with extreme caution.
My only granddaughter was also raised, for most of her life,without her father. She knew him, lived with him for a school year, and for the most part he did nothing to protect her – so she paid the consequences.
My oldest grandson was born in 2006. Knowing what I know at this point about fathers..my hope is to help raise a man that will be a man of integrity. A man committed to the things of God. A man who considers life for all its worth and not like yesterday’s trash.
No, it’s not Father’s Day yet. But I do hope that anyone that was raised and nurtured by a good father can truly appreciate the miracle God gave them.
Then, of course we have to define “good”… but that’s for another day.
Proverbs 14: 27 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,
To turn one away from the snares of death. I believe there is a solution to the absent father – but it’s a solution that no one wants to hear.
Thank you for reading my rant.
Be blessed, y’all
2 Corinthians 4:18 (NKJV)
… while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Well, I finally finished my book. The Lord is so good! I had never considered the significance of fathers, until the Lord opened my eyes…
A spiritual journey in search of understanding and a mission to discover family roots set the stage for God’s most significant work in my life. Success can often be measured by a person’s life chances. When fathers withdraw from their children, they leave them with fewer opportunities to succeed. They also leave wounds deep and wide that can take years to heal. The struggle for survival and achievement is profound.
Growing up fatherless is disconcerting as children learn to navigate their world in a society quick to slap a label on them. From infancy, a child’s identity is framed by his family life, a self-fulfilling prophecy is set in motion. The factors involved are many and varied. The statistics show a high percentage of children growing up in single-parent homes, also grow up in poverty. This book presents personal stories of the struggles encountered through four generations of women raised without the love, the influence and the support of a father.
Discovering four generations of single parenting in my lineage was astonishing. Nonetheless, it was my reality. How will the Lord end this curse? Click here for a chance to win a free copy! Thank you for reading!